With every birth, a name is placed on a certificate to label one identified. I was granted the name Tyler, and the last name, Hebert. I was born in New Iberia, Louisiana in the year of 1986 on the 14th of September. At a young age of two, my mother and father divorced each other and went each their own way. Not long after, they both got remarried. My love for my mother and father are equal, as each preached about the importance of self-discovery through personal experience. And, it was through self-discovery where I found my worth within the knowing of who I am and where I stand as an individual. When it comes to my siblings, not one of us share the same interest and rarely do we share the same views, but we each stand firm in knowing the true meaning of family. My family is my family, dysfunctional and imperfect, and I would never change it for anything in the entire galaxy. They are what honestly keeps me grounded. They reassure me of my existence.
As a child I had a niche for music, a love for dancing and an undying appreciation for all forms of Art. It was at a young age when I started expressing myself through a form of creative writing. My favorite thing to write was poetry. There was something about poetry that helped me get in touch with my inner self and allowed for a better understanding behind the true meanings of my emotions. I must have been about the age of 13, which I still can't believe how mature I was in reference to my ability to undergo moments of self-reflection. Most people my age were fixated on pleasing their inner urges. And, there I was, alone in my room writing poetry. It was actually through my love for writing where I discovered my innate ability to express myself through artistic form and representation. Each of my talents have helped, and continue to help, identify who I am, not only within the physical reality, but also on a level deeper than the physical senses.
"You lose your dignity when you allow someone else to define you."
To define who I am through words would be a waste, as I change on a daily basis. Who I was two years ago is short of who I am at this very moment. But, why is this? Why is it that I spend most of my time trying to define who I am? Is there even an accurate definition? There are times when I think I have the answer and then the universe sends me a curve ball which leaves me only to rethink my probable conclusion. Think of my life as some sort of science project. My existence is to be determined through experimentation. Everything is tested to provide a reasoning behind the occurrence for that encounter. My analysis is found within all that I experience. Every person I see, every thing I touch, all that is felt are all used as research to determine the value of my hypothesis. However, I tend to over analyze everything, which makes my life an never-ending exam. My curse of over thinking must come from my zodiac sun sign as a Virgo. But, there is a plus, as I make sure to gain as much knowledge as I can, when I can, wherever I can.
Every area of life is my interest of study. There is not much that I would not endeavor. As I am the holder of various innate talents. This makes me assume that my soul has spent lifetimes in the past exploring all areas of life for the main reason of self-discovery, as I am doing now. I possess the soul of an artist, as I am a person whom lives through self-expression. To speak on behalf of my emotions is not likely. My emotions are kept within until I find myself alone. It is within solitude that I fully open up to express how I truly feel. Most people find this to be a form of insecurity, but it just comes naturally to me. How I choose to express myself is something another must, not only accept, but embrace. I may be a little on the odd side, but that is what makes for such a unique quality to possess. I think that for me to see the world through eyes that view only for self-exploration is quite fascinating.
"The confidence in knowing myself is my power. It is my security."
I am an Autodidact. Everything I know is self-taught. Please, do not think I stated that for the reason of an ego-boost. That was not my intention. I just find that I learn better on my own. Plus, I am able to learn at my own pace without time limiting my range of knowledge on a certain subject of interest. The use of time is why nothing from school still resides within my mind, as I always found school to be a waste of time. What got me through school was mainly luck , along with a tad bit of memorization. Isn't it wonderful, how the mind, when mastered, can be used for many advantages. When the mind is not mastered, well, it’s obvious to know the consequences.
My conscious has always been the leader of my whole being. The footprints it paved in the sand are those I felt compelled to follow. To most people, the footprints they follow are those of their parents, or guardians. But, to me, it was neither. The voice within my head had this wisdom with it that still today is unexplained. However, once I reached a state of adolescence, I observed others and learned that the voice within the head is what labeled most insane. This made me question my obedience to this inner voice. It was then that I chose to lose touch with it, which made me obey the new voice of the ego. I swear, before then, I had no ego. Everything was accepted for what it was without the need of a reason.
"Within the light I could only see what society wanted me to see. I was blinded. Now, in the dark, that is where I finally came to see me for who I really was. I was awakened."
My newly developed ego soon became my worst enemy. It got me into a life of partying and hard drug usage. At that moment, it was the life to live. I was popular. I had everything I wanted. Well, everything my ego wanted. It wasn't soon after, probably about 4 years later, that my ego paved its way down a path into a state of extreme depression. Reality was no longer sought to be worthy of my existence. Life was no longer longed for, as I felt to be of no value to the rest of humanity. I needed an escape from the negative thoughts. I wanted to rid myself of the constant self-criticism. This darkness that I resided in had no sight of light. The windows within my mind were enveloped with metal bars and shutters. The only solution to finally end the torment was to take my own life. Seconds before I could pull the trigger, I was saved by someone. The sight of her concern quickly removed all that had once blocked the sight of light. The windows within finally allowed for light to shine through, which illumined a newly discovered value for myself. My savior would be my mother. In appreciation, I promised myself I would forever be the sunshine in her life. The value of her life would be shown on a daily basis through whatever need be at any given moment.
My experience with depression is one I will never forget. It was one of the toughest times of my life, but never have I once spoke of it with regret. If it were not for the encounter of my inner demons, the value of my life would be probably undetermined. I now know that my life has a purpose. My life is precious. The same goes to anyone reading this. Each one of us have a reason for living and every life should be appreciated and respected.
"To truly know life is to live it."
I seek to discover knowledge and wisdom for the purpose of self-discovery. To know who I am on a soul level is of high importance to my life goal. While others are enjoying the material luxuries that life has to offer, I have my focus within. Within myself holds all the luxuries I could ever yearn for. My life quote would be, “Live to find value within”.
"One thing I highly recommend to everyone is SELF-DISCIPLINE.
Learn it. Live it. Master it."
I graduated high school at the age of 17 in the year of 2004. My favorite subjects were Psychology, Sociology, Science, Literature and Art. Not once did I take a photography course. Everything I know about photography was obtained during the period of myself becoming my own teacher, as well as becoming my own subject of interest. My Photoshop skills and all of my techniques were also learned accordingly just years before my introduction to photography. It was almost like my life was preparing itself for what was soon to come without my conscious awareness. It is quiet weird how life plays out sometimes, isn't it?
After many years of feeling detached from my Catholic religion,I found an interest in Buddhism. It wasn't
long after that I became a spiritualist. I spent a total of five years teaching myself the laws of Buddhism. I acquired as much knowledge as I could. In the end I came out with a new belief on the importance of respect, acceptance, appreciation and unconditional love for everyone and everything occupying the universe. The one thing I really liked about Buddhism is the fact that it never once judged, discriminated or condemned anyone on any level. Everyone is equal, as each of us make up the whole of humanity. Your reality is my reality and mine is yours. Together, our realities make up the reality of the world.
When it comes to my religious beliefs, I have none. I do not feel like I need a religion to showcase the enlightenment of my soul. For, enlightenment is a process of becoming illuminated, which can come in two forms, either as knowledge or wisdom. Knowledge comes by the following of others and wisdom with the leading of thyself. So, which form of enlightenment is the only real form of illumination for one's spiritual growth? The answer is Both. However, keep in mind, knowledge is often times fought to be fiction and wisdom will always be gained from an actual experience by oneself. Self-discovery of the soul will forever be the soul purpose for all. Those who have become aware of this seek God within themselves, not without. For God is a source. God is all. Think about it, to seek God without is a form of dependency. My theory can be backed up by Jesus, whom once stated, "The body is the temple". You see, people read the bible, but they fail to distinguish the messages through interpretation. The truth is often times not the truth, because truth is never spoken directly. This is purposely done so only those who seek it shall find it. You actually think truth would come that easily. Opens your eyes and realize truth is only valued on how we perceive truth.